LYRIC FOR SALE

By Phil M.

Don’t stop me if you haven’t heard this one
For the next three minutes you’ll have no fun
'Cause this song came from my own pen
It ain’t the one about workin' nine to five
Or how I use my walk to stay alive
There's nothing coming up around the bend

'Cause I ain’t singing no cover song
Sorry you can’t sing along
You’ll just have to sit there and frown
I ain’t claimin' to be the Piano Man
I’ll leave it up to that guy Van
To tell you ‘bout the slut whose eyes were brown

I’m hoping you can aptly chill
Though we're a thousand miles from Margaritaville
Sorry if your panties'r waded up
Or you’re ‘bout to crush your red-plastic cup
Still I can't shoot to thrill, and I never play to kill

'Cause I ain’t singing no cover song
Sorry you can’t sing along
You’ll just have to sit there and stew
I ain’t claiming I’ve never been to Mexico
I get no answers from how the wind does blow
Ooh-hoo, who’s Jackie Blue?

So go on fill up tha commode
Or shake your beer till it explodes
You can roll your eyes till they stick that way
But only once will I spell G-L-O-R-I-A

'Cause I ain’t singing no cover song
Sorry you can’t sing along
You’ll just have to sit there and pout
I don’t care if you feel like we do
To the other side we ain’t breaking through
I 'm too old to kick up my heels, and it hurts my throat to shout

Sorry if I ruined your night
My mom thinks this song’s all right
But she don’t disapprove of much I do
When you write your online review
Please remember she reads ‘em, too
And she ain’t one to mess with in a fight
Fact, she’s here tonight; that’s her clutchin’ that big, sharp knife
She won’t even let you say the words
“Wasn’t me shoutin’ them ‘Freebirds!’”
Before she’ll do away with your complaining life

'Cause I ain’t singing no cover song
Sorry you can’t sing along
You’ll just have to sit there and whine
I don’t pine for Jessie’s squeeze
Make my burger without cheese
Signs, signs everywhere a... scratch that, I can’t see the signs